| She had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes. |
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[25 Sep 2009|10:41pm] |
I wish I could hug you right now, tell you everything is going to work out for the best. I want to tell you that you are a beautiful person, both inside and out. I want you to know that no matter what you do, or what happens, I am here for you. I just want you to come home soon. I want you safe, and well. I want to be safe and well too!
THIS IS OUR SEASON! i'm not sure how i'll make it without you...
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[31 Aug 2009|12:33am] |
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How can you possibly not see what is wrong with what you are doing?
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[26 Aug 2009|10:45pm] |
RESPECT.
CONSIDERATION.
AWARENESS.
CONSCIENCE.
DIGNITY.
REMORSE.
Some mistakes are hard to fix, be careful...not sorry.
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[24 Aug 2009|12:31am] |
It gets old, fast.
Don't you think it is time for another infamous wake up call?
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[22 Aug 2009|01:40am] |
Dear Heart,
I heard last night you were 375 miles away. Please come home soon. Be careful while you're gone, I need you back in one piece.
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[21 Aug 2009|02:58am] |
Oh wow.
If I forget today ever happened...i'll be just fine.
wish I could talk to certain people, but sometimes that's impossible.
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[20 Aug 2009|02:39am] |
I hate when I can't sleep because I am thinking too much.
How do you turn your brain off for eight hours?
And how can you be so selfish?
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[19 Aug 2009|04:40pm] |
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I wish my dad would grow up.
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[18 Aug 2009|09:30pm] |
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I get tired of the same excuses.
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[11 Aug 2009|10:21pm] |
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How do you go about telling a friend something you know they will not want to hear? Should you keep your lips sealed and hope they find out soon, then be there for them when they do...acting like you had no idea. Should you spill the beans and face the chance that they don't believe you or doubt what you tell them?
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| you deal with it |
[06 Aug 2009|03:02pm] |
If I am going to slip, i'm going to fucking leap and enjoy the fall.
If I am going to put myself out there, I'm going to go ahead and risk it all.
and on another note:
Last night a man yelled at me because when he ordered his food he didn't order anything to drink. He did quite well making sure I wrote down everything he wanted to eat but I figured he wasn't thirsty since one of his demands wasn't a drink. Then I found out I am not only suppose to host.server.whatever...but i am suppose to read minds!
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| oh |
[04 Aug 2009|01:12am] |
It is so weird how much music effects my whole mood. I stumble across Country Roads by The LACS, which was my theme song last fall/winter, and it gave me chills just listening to it. I actually felt like I should throw on a coat and some knit boats and drive around on dirt roads with it on repeat. It also gave me that god awful sense of coming down, getting back up, then doing all over again. I love that song and the sad thing is the part I really relate to is "I fell flat on my back searching for my soul, country roads take me home back to the place where I belong"...which is crazy. I felt just that listening to it one night, and I packed my stuff and went home. If you know where home is, its in the middle of nowhere under my mother's roof. Way to bring back some repressed memories. I have never been too good at dealing with things that i consider "hard". I normally just change directions for awhile, and do my best to not think about whatever it is that is bothering me (or that I did). I guess the more healthy way to deal would be to face things head on and struggle over the hurdles right then and there. Normally I end up having to do just that eventually, anyways. Why do I prolong the healing process for so long? Why can't I be normal and just say "hey this makes me feel (insert emotion here), and "this is what I will do to deal with it"?
I complicate things for myself, too often.
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[07 Jul 2009|10:51pm] |
Bare with me for a few, or just scroll down to someone else's page:
I take everything you say to heart, always have...leaving me open to hurt.
When I tell you everything, you worry.
When I don't tell you everything, I'm hiding things and we have trust issues.
Urgh! Has it ever occurred to you that we aren't meant to be? You said so yourself that geminis and virgos are like pickles and icecream. So just let me be sour, and you go on being sweet...and ill find someone else. Jesus this shouldn't be so hard. If you can't fix it...get a new one. (that's what I think atleast)
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[03 Jul 2009|08:57pm] |
It bugs me when people complain about their life and while doing so, they put down general groups of people. I could very well say..."I hate people who do this and that" but in all reality...I like some people w stupid tattoos, dumb music choices, etc. If I hate you, its on a more personal level...and for your traits not interests.
Oh and stop hating on Micheal Jackson BC of his liking little boys, yes its disturbing but he didn't kidnap anyone. What's really disturbing is that those kids parents let them stay at a fucking grown mans house?! Really, come on...you're asking for disaster!
On another note, I am completely torn between two different "worlds". One is more stable and the other is fun and very good looking. Both have a piece of my heart. And I have no idea what to do. I'm so fickle. Its not even funny.
Also statesboro has shitty commercials?! Gosh!
annnnnnnnd, why the hell do I attract all the old ass creepers at work?
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[30 May 2009|03:18am] |
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Can't sleep. Achy, restless, sound familiar?I am stupid. I was just here a year ago. Except I had already lost all that I thought I could! Except I am wrong. Today I walked out mad and ran away from the only person willing to love me.
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[29 Mar 2009|10:50pm] |
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I can't believe I still think about you, and worse than just thinking about you...I catch myself doing things that would disappoint you and I stop. Why in the world do you control me in such ways? And you have no idea of any of this. I swear I don't love you, for gods sake I am engaged, and might I add...not to you. You're not the same person I fell for, or maybe I'm not the same innocent girl. Either way you drive me nuts, and I have no idea why I even try to stay in contact with you. You would think this whole livejournal thing was stupid, just like you used to question my fasinatsion with boxes of all kinds. Urghhh...really? Stay out of my dreams just one night, let me enjoy the company in my bed. The man I love.
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[23 Feb 2009|08:28pm] |
+i have to finish these towel wraps before Wednesday...I love sewing!
$i need another 18 jobs...or atleast one more. I'm working once a week at Mcalisters, and doing some stuff for sew much fun! But if I am ever going to get out of debt, ill need either to hit the lottery or more income.
:-( I miss a few people, but mostly elaine! I would feel better if we hung out more. We are suppose to be soulmates...maybe that's why my heart hurts lately?
~i don't want him, want him, just a little bit! Haha.
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[18 Feb 2009|02:30am] |
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The loneliest feeling is being with someone and filling empty and alone. And when you try to fill that void in other places, it ends up you're only lonely inside.
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[16 Feb 2009|11:53pm] |
I'm trying to get my life in complete and fully functional order. Not for anyone else but for me, and my satisfaction/well being. But does that mean saying good bye to people I thought were my friends? Possibly, but not in a "we're through, bye!" way...more like, I'm going to do my thing and see what happens from there.
+on another note, I don't like being talked badly about and not confronted. So if I ever do anything that bothers you, let me know...not the world.
++I am extremely hurt by a few people's actions. Not that they have done anything directly to me, but to themselves. The situations they put themselves in, and don't notice how it effects other people who care about them. So if I've pulled away from you...it might be deeper than you think.
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[09 Nov 2008|07:00pm] |
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Once a year I get the same feeling. This restless, longing feeling. Part of me wants certain things and feelings from the past, and the other part of me want everything to be completely different. Is this normal? And when your stomach gets butterflies, the first time you touch someone you're really into...is that feeling suppose to stay forever if you found the "right one"?
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thewaker's journal